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Things That Go Ouch…and Not Just at Night

ouch-p5hrh1

April 11,2013

I am really hoping that the next post I will write will be about finishing the chemo treatments! My last one will be next Wednesday, April 17th and even though I am definitely not looking forward to it, I am totally excited about being able to say that it is the last one!

I have tons of calls and message from wonderful people, some of whom I have never met but who have been following my journey from day one. Everyone wants to know how I am doing. And believe me, I always say that I am doing great. Mostly, it is true. But I must admit that there are times I am just blatently┬álying. It has been so long since I felt 100% good that I have a problem understanding what “feeling good” really is. Maybe it’s hard to understand – so let me tell you the truth: something always hurts. Something is always uncomfortable. Something is always not right when you are pumped full of destructive chemicals and you have eto understand that they are destructive in order to kill cancer cells.

For me, the absolutely worse is the lack of energy. I am used to multi-tasking, running around, always doing something. And I find myself in a position when I just don’t have the energy to do anything. And frankly, that drive me crazy. But I do understand that I have to rest when the energy level is low, that I have to take naps during the day (I totally consider those a waste of time) and I know that I have to behave and not over do it at any given time.

What actually hurts? First – it was the hair. I couldn’t believe just how much loosing my hair hurt. And I mean physically hurt. I spent entire night sitting up, just couldn’t lay down, because as soon as my head touched the pillow, I felt a really strong pain. Not like a headache, like pulling hard on your hair. That why I had my head shaved promptly the next day.

Another thing that hurts are my nails. Ya – nails on my hands. I have always been cautious about putting hand lotion on my hands to keep them nice and soft and always did or had my nails done. Now my hands are looking very dry and my nails are half purple. My family doctor and my oncologist both said that they have seen worse – I guess that’s should make me feel better.

And then – my legs. Of course it’s partially because I ended up with a blood clot in my left leg and that alone hurts like hell. My leg was swollen and hot to touch. so now I have to inject myself every day with a blood thinner. Something I will have to do for probably the next six months. After Taxol injections, the most affected part of the body are the joints. And believe me, that is a pretty strong pain. It starts about two days after the injection and last 2-3 days. Painkillers do work and I do take them. I know that it’s another chemical going into my body, but I have no intentions of being a hero and putting up with pain when I don’t need to.

I do hope I am not scarring anyone who has to go through chemo. Trust me – it’s all manageable and the most important thing to remember is the reason why it’s being done.

Now that you know what hurts, you may have fewer surprises – and that was the intention of this post.

 

About the author

Hanna Trafford

Hanna is the mother of two grown sons Dan and Dusan Nedelko, step mother to Abbie Gateman and is also a brand new Grandmother. She is the lead editor of Mama Knows and is hoping to create an exchange of communications with other grandmothers, mothers and daughters - giving everyone the opportunity to learn and share about everything that is "Mama"

3 comments
Donna - April 11, 2013

Hope when this all over you go and spend some ‘me’ time and pamper yourself silly. My prayers are with you.

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Germaine - April 12, 2013

My heart goes out to you and Mei.. My sister in law .. Now I can say I have pain from time to time but not like you two.. I pray that the pain stops one day soon and in a good way.. funny when people ask me how Iam from time to time I say you want the truth or a lie..lol if you don’t want to know..why ask. Well I hope you have a good Friday and if you don’t lie lol lol and if we ask it means we trully care..all my love Mama
Germaine

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Kathy Whyte - April 13, 2013

Well Hanna my friend, another good post….as you said, these things are manageable, and necessary to win our fight!!! I am FINISHED my chemo as you know, now on to the next steps, surgery and radiation therapy….We get a whole new set of challenges to look forward too!!! I have one more helpful hint…..DO NOT BREAK A BONE WHILE HAVING CHEMOTHERAPY TREATMENTS……I broke a toe almost 9 weeks ago…..and it is just starting to heal NOW…….I have had a lot of annoying little things happen during chedmotherapy treatments, that I know are normal..but I may write a list for you!!! big hugs my friend xxoo

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